Are you living in constant fear that your boyfriend or girlfriend is going to leave you? Do you love him or her so much that you cannot envision life without him/her? Are you prepared to do anything to make him/her stay? Understand that you have the power to influence his/her decision to breakup or stay in a committed relationship.
Fear of losing him will only push him away
When you are living in constant fear of losing the person that you love, your negative emotions are passed along to your significant other. You become a weight and the relationship is no longer a source of joy or safety for them. Being in a state of emotional dependence not only puts your partner in a difficult situation but you as well! Often times you become incapable of doing anything constructive on your own; you cannot focus at work, you give up all of your hobbies or don’t even want to go out with your friends. You only want to spend time with your partner, and the more attention and love you try to give them, the more distant they will become.
It’s the nature of human relationships and a seduction principle; when you make him/her the center of your world, you are in essence putting him/her on a pedestal. By doing so you are no longer a challenge for your partner and your time and love will start to be taken for granted! As a matter of fact the more you fear losing him/her, the greater your chances of being dumped; not the other way around!
Well I love him/her so much that I don’t want to lose him/her
“I am afraid to lose my partner because I love him/her so much”! But love never drives fear. Love is actually the opposite emotion of Fear; so you cannot be afraid because of your feelings for someone.
You are simply in a state of emotional dependence. Let me give you an example; at the beginning of your relationship when you first fell in love with your partner, you experienced very strong feelings for them but you were not afraid. You probably loved them just as much as you do now. You probably went through the uncertainty of knowing whether you would end up together, yet you were able to manage your emotions and not let your feelings overwhelm you!
If you love your partner, you need to do everything in your power to control your fear instead and not become too needy. You can still show him/her love and attention but you will need to find more balance in order to be a positive force in his/her life and not another worry.
So what should you do to manage your fears and make him/her want to stay with you or even better to make him/her fall in love again? First you need to make a concerted effort to do more activities on your own and to keep yourself busy. You cannot and should not depend on your partner to do activities that you love. My first recommendation to help you in this process is to find your passion or hobby and to immerse yourself in it! If you don’t have any, find one!
Lastly always remember that your partner is just as fortunate to be with you as you are to be with them. If you are together it means that you have tons of qualities that he/she values and that he/she as high esteem for you whether they choose expresses it or not. So don’t be insecure and never put your partner on a pedestal!
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