I will be launching a new category ‘Reader’s Corner’ with this post, Readers’s Corner will basically be comments made by readers that I feel should be turned into a post, Readers’ Corner will also be opened to readers who might what to share their view.
For today’s Readers’ Corner, Ayofe’s comment to one of our posts, ‘To Move In With Your Spouse Before Marriage Or Not? Your Take?‘ was totally on point, and it would just be certainly unfair not to post it for everyone to read.
“There’s no simple answer to this. If you had asked, ‘is it ideal?’ the answer would have been ‘No’. But is it good? Yes and No depending on factors.
It could be wrong or right depending on who and who are involved, what they want out of it, where they are, their present predicament. This view is religious neutral and culturally mute. For those who want to take their destiny in their own hands. Two people that are sincere, cohabiting or not, would achieve their aims. I have seen numerous examples. And unserious pair would hit the rock soon. An argument against cohabitation is, it gives a fertile soil for premarital sex. Fine. Don’t do it if you don’t wanna have sex. But we realise you don’t need to co-stay before sex happens. What about those that stay separate but have sex more frequently that they would if married or more than married couples? What do they want from their relationship? Marriage? Fine, while for some, cohabiting make them feel less of the women they are, for some it catalyzes the wedding or marriage or both (you know what that means). The gist is that, what makes a man wants to settle down with someone is not actually how hard to get she is, not her conservativeness, not her reservedness- even though these might have an effect– but her attitude, her taste, her quality, her problem solving ability in this ever difficult world, her responsibility and the awareness of the enormous core of her personality. We know who we can marry even if we are cohabiting and we also know who we cant. Only fools would use a tree of fortune as firewood.
The main issue is, how do we know the mind of others? The woman should try and play safe by making a sincere, objective assessment of who she’s dealing with before going into such risky venture. Nothing good in life is risk free however, but we also have a brain telling us this or that is or is not what we should at any material time”
What do you think?